Homefront Kids 10
Building Healthy Relationships to Prevent Divorce
We recognize that in some circumstances divorce may be necessary for the health of the individuals and families involved. With that in mind, we continue to emphasize the ideal – a stable, life-long marriage. Science shows that when conflicts can be resolved in parent relationships, children do better. Thank you for all your efforts to care for your children and to teach them in your personal circumstances.
ABOUT THIS UNIT
Main Ideas
1) Seventy percent of all married people are still married to their first spouse. (The 50% divorce statistic is very misleading.)
2) By almost every measure, children of divorce fare worse than their peers in intact families.
3) Forty percent of unhappily married couples who stayed married report being happy five years later.
4) Barring cases of extreme abuse, children prefer that their parents remain married, even if the relationship is troubled.
Activities
1) Do a puzzle or take a hike with the family – again discuss the feeling of accomplishment of continuing on even when it’s difficult along the way.
2) Set a personal goal and keep a record of what it took to achieve it.
3) Discuss as a family the importance of developing grit and how it can help your life.
4) Find and tell stories of ancestors or family members that went through struggles but worked through it with their spouse and family.
Daily Resources
Short daily resources for discussing Homefront topics with your children.
Click to expand the daily resource you want to view.
DO NOT USE; THIS IS HIDDEN
Resource 1: What is Divorce?
Resource 2: Deciphering Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships
Resource 3: Developing Your Future Relationship
Resource 4: Heeding Warnings for a Better Future
Resource 5: Creating Healthy Expectations for Marriage
Resource 6: Choose Your Love, and Love Your Choice
Resource 7: Let the Consequence Follow
Resource 8: Fix it!
Resource 9: We Won’t Give Up
The promises you make in marriage should never be taken lightly. Loyalty and commitment to another person matters.
Parents:
Parents: The US Divorce Rate Has Hit a 50 Year Low
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Family:
Jason Mraz: I Won’t give Up
As you watch this video, think of why it is important to have grit in our relationships and to develop a motto that emphasizes, “We don’t divorce – we will never get a divorce no matter what. WE are committed to being married.”
Discuss:
Why is it important to be committed to our marriage and family relationships?
Resource 10: Entitlement: What do children really deserve?
Review
Role Play #1
Role Play #1
Scenario:
Your friend says he doesn’t want to get married in the future because he heard half of all marriages end in divorce. What would you say?
Response:
Talking Point: Seventy-two percent of all married people are still married to their first spouse. The ubiquitous “50% divorce rate” statistic is highly misleading. There are many factors at play, including that the “50%” number is impacted by individuals who marry, divorce, remarry – sometimes multiple times. This, alone, will drag the average rate of divorce down to a lower overall percentage.
Citation:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-myth-of-the-high-rate-of-divorce?all=1#1
Role Play #2
Role Play #2
Scenario:
An acquaintance shares her concern that she is unhappy in her marriage. She thinks because she is unhappy, her kids must be too; and it would be better for her to divorce her husband. What could you tell her?
Response:
Talking Point: Many adults who are in very unhappy marriages would be surprised to learn that their children are relatively content. Keeping their family together is usually more important to children than if mom and dad sleep in different beds. First marriages that are troubled are predictably better for children than the alternatives. Children from low-conflict families who experience parental divorce suffer significant adverse effects on their psychological and social well-being.
Citation:
Alan Booth and Paul R. Amato, “Parental Predivorce Relations and Offspring Postdivorce Well-Being,” Journal of Marriage and Family 63 (February 2001): 197-212.
Reflect
Reflect
Parents:
Review some additional Homefront Project articles/videos from the HomeFront Divorce unit.
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Family:
- What did you learn?
- What do you want to do differently?
- What were you surprised by?
- With whom do you want to share what you learned?
Discuss:
Which was your favorite resource or video?
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