Homefront Kids 10

Building Healthy Relationships to Prevent Divorce

We recognize that in some circumstances divorce may be necessary for the health of the individuals and families involved. With that in mind, we continue to emphasize the ideal – a stable, life-long marriage. Science shows that when conflicts can be resolved in parent relationships, children do better. Thank you for all your efforts to care for your children and to teach them in your personal circumstances.

ABOUT THIS UNIT

Main Ideas

1) Seventy percent of all married people are still married to their first spouse. (The 50% divorce statistic is very misleading.)

2) By almost every measure, children of divorce fare worse than their peers in intact families.

3) Forty percent of unhappily married couples who stayed married report being happy five years later.

4) Barring cases of extreme abuse, children prefer that their parents remain married, even if the relationship is troubled.

Activities

1) Do a puzzle or take a hike with the family – again discuss the feeling of accomplishment of continuing on even when it’s difficult along the way.

2) Set a personal goal and keep a record of what it took to achieve it.

3) Discuss as a family the importance of developing grit and how it can help your life.

4) Find and tell stories of ancestors or family members that went through struggles but worked through it with their spouse and family.

Daily Resources

Short daily resources for discussing Homefront topics with your children.

Click to expand the daily resource you want to view.

DO NOT USE; THIS IS HIDDEN

It’s a blessing to be a parent and see your children grow, learn, and discover joy.

Parents:

How the Sexual Revolution hijacked feminismView Now

Family:

Baby Hears Mom’s Voice.                                    View Now

Discuss:

What are some of your favorite moments with your parent/child?

Resource 1: What is Divorce?

When marriages and families are healthy, communities thrive; when marriages break down, communities break down.

Parents:

100 Reasons Not to Divorce
View Now

Family:

Keeping a Marriage Strong
View Now

Discuss:

Why is marriage between a man and woman important?

Resource 2: Deciphering Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

You will have many relationships in your life, how do you keep them healthy?
.

Parents:

Divorce May Ruin Your Life, by Jordan Peterson
View Now

Family:

Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships
View Now

Discuss:

What are traits of healthy relationships?

Resource 3: Developing Your Future Relationship

You can learn how to choose well.

Parents:

Everything You Need to Know About Divorce – Facts, Statistics, and Rates               
View Now

Family:

What traits do you want in your future relationship?

View Now

Discuss:

What are you going to do to develop these traits for your future relationships?

Resource 4: Heeding Warnings for a Better Future

Your choices, today, will impact you and your future family. Watch for warning signs along the way.

Parents:

How Could Divorce Affect My Kids?
View Now

Family:

Warning Signs
View Now

Discuss:

How do I best prepare to select a future spouse?  Or In what ways do parents protect their children?

Resource 5: Creating Healthy Expectations for Marriage

Learning how to manage your expectations will contribute to your happiness.

Parents:

Do You Really Qualify for Divorce?
View Now

Family:

Reasonable Expectations!
View Now

Discuss:

What are healthy expectations?

Resource 6: Choose Your Love, and Love Your Choice

Happiness is a choice. Marriages aren’t just something we throw away.

Parents:

What a fish tank can tell us about divorce
View Now

Family:

Grit
View Now

Discuss:

What can you do to develop grit for those times in your life when things are hard?

Resource 7: Let the Consequence Follow

Life is the sum of the choices you make. Choose well.

Parents:

The Long Shadow of Parental Divorce
View Now

Family:

Choices and Consequences
View Now

Discuss:

Why is it important to think of the consequences of your choices?

Resource 8: Fix it!

Conflict in marriage isn’t always a reason to end a marriage; fix it!

Parents:

Low-Conflict Marriage: Why I Tell My Clients It’s Good Enough
View Now

Family:

Journey of the Teddy Bear
View Now

Discuss:

What will you do to develop the determination to fix relationships in your life?

Resource 9: We Won’t Give Up

The promises  you make in marriage should never be taken lightly.  Loyalty and commitment to another person matters.

Parents:

Parents: The US Divorce Rate Has Hit a 50 Year Low
View Now

Family:

Jason Mraz: I Won’t give Up

As you watch this video, think of why it is important to have grit in our relationships and to develop a motto that emphasizes, “We don’t divorce – we will never get a divorce no matter what. WE are committed to being married.”

View Now

Discuss:

Why is it important to be committed to our marriage and family relationships?

Resource 10: Entitlement: What do children really deserve?

Children’s needs come first. Married parents are the ultimate gift to a child.

Parents:

When, and Why, Divorce Hurts Kids

View Now

Family:

The Importance of a Married Mother and Father
View Now

Discuss:

Why do you think children are entitled to a married mother and father who honor their marriage?

Review

Review

Parents:

Discussion Question Survey
View Now

Family:

Enjoy this Jeopardy style game to review what you have learned in this unit.

View Now

Discuss:

How many Talking Points do you know?

Role Play #1

Role Play #1

Scenario:

Your friend says he doesn’t want to get married in the future because he heard half of all marriages end in divorce. What would you say?

Response:

Talking Point: Seventy-two percent of all married people are still married to their first spouse. The ubiquitous “50% divorce rate” statistic is highly misleading. There are many factors at play, including that the “50%” number is impacted by individuals who marry, divorce, remarry – sometimes multiple times. This, alone, will drag the average rate of divorce down to a lower overall percentage.

Citation:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-myth-of-the-high-rate-of-divorce?all=1#1

 

Role Play #2

Role Play #2

Scenario:

An acquaintance shares her concern that she is unhappy in her marriage. She thinks because she is unhappy, her kids must be too; and it would be better for her to divorce her husband. What could you tell her?

Response:

Talking Point: Many adults who are in very unhappy marriages would be surprised to learn that their children are relatively content. Keeping their family together is usually more important to children than if mom and dad sleep in different beds. First marriages that are troubled are predictably better for children than the alternatives. Children from low-conflict families who experience parental divorce suffer significant adverse effects on their psychological and social well-being.

Citation:

Alan Booth and Paul R. Amato, “Parental Predivorce Relations and Offspring Postdivorce Well-Being,” Journal of Marriage and Family 63 (February 2001): 197-212.

Reflect

Reflect

Parents:

Review some additional Homefront Project articles/videos from the HomeFront Divorce unit.  
View Now

Family:

  1. What did you learn? 
  2. What do you want to do differently? 
  3. What were you surprised by? 
  4. With whom do you want to share what you learned?

Discuss:

Which was your favorite resource or video?

Summarize and Share

Summarize and Share

Parents:

Unit Survey
View Now

Family:

Which is your favorite image to share from Divorce?
View Now

Discuss:

Who will you share this with?

Return to 

Homefront Kids Home

Talking Points

Resources to help you discuss with friends and family.

Social Media Resources

Share resources for families through social media.

Advocacy Tips

Get involved in your community and local governments to make a difference.

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Get in touch with us

We want to hear from you: your thoughts, your questions, your takeaways.  Do you have a personal story to share?  Is there a topic you’d like to see discussed?  Let us know.

We are excited to have you engaged with HomeFront Project!

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