Homefront Kids 9
The Sequence of Success
ABOUT THIS UNIT
Main Ideas
1) Cohabitation is more a preparation for divorce than a way to strengthen the likelihood of a successful marriage.
2) You don’t “test drive” people – or a potential spouse.
3) No positive contribution of cohabitation to marriage has ever been found.
4) One of the most dangerous places for a child is to find him/herself living in a home that includes an unrelated male boyfriend—especially when that boyfriend is left to care for a child by himself.
5) Relative to men, women have the most to lose from being involved in a cohabiting relationship.
Activities
1) Plant a garden – talk/teach about the importance of commitment for the plant to achieve its best growth. What does it take to help the plant thrive? What happens if we decide we just don’t want to deal with it anymore?
2) Look through your family history for examples and stories of how your ancestors’ marriage strengthened their family.
3) Play soccer or another sport with boundaries as a family and discuss the role boundaries serve in that game and in life with relationships.
Daily Resources
Short daily resources for discussing Homefront topics with your children.
Click to expand the daily resource you want to view.
DO NOT USE; THIS IS HIDDEN
Resource 1: Looking for commitment? Marriage is the Solution
Science shows marriage is the answer to having commitment as a priority in the relationship, especially when compared to cohabitation.
Parents:
Cohabitating, Shacking Up, or Playing House.
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Family:
Marriage and Cohabitation Experiment
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Discuss:
Why do you think marriage results in higher levels of commitment for a couple than cohabitation?
Resource 2: What’s important about a Recipe?
Resource 3: Do you know the Sequence of Success in Life?
Test your knowledge to see if you can correctly label the Sequence of Success.
Parents:
Couples who delay having sex get benefits later, study suggests
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Family:
Test your knowledge of the sequence of success to match the order and step together! (Reference for game: https://ifstudies.org/blog/what-does-the-success-sequence-mean)
Discuss:
Why do you think it is important to get married before you have a child?
Resource 4: The Protective Force of Marriage
Resource 5: Choose Sexual Integrity in your Life
There are many voices suggesting cohabitation as a substitute or a step to marriage, but marriage is the only relationship that respects and honors both men and women.
Parents:
Marriage Surpasses Cohabitation in Relationship Quality, But Most Americans Don’t Seem to Know It
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Family:
Try before you buy? Not with sexual integrity!
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Discuss:
How will you start today to develop your sexual integrity?
Resource 6: The Process of Making a Decision
Resource 7: Finding Joy and Safety Within Your Boundaries
Resource 8: Setting Boundaries and Conquering Peer Pressure
Establishing boundaries can be hard, especially when others attempt to push those boundaries.
Parents:
How Moving In Together Makes It Harder to Know If He’s the One
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Family:
Setting Boundaries Takes Decision-Making Skills
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Discuss:
How does setting personal boundaries help you avoid uncomfortable or dangerous situations, including pressure to cohabit?
Resource 9: Marriage is the solution!
Marriage and Cohabitation do not have similar outcomes. Discover the difference.
Parents:
Cohabitation vs Marriage: Guide to Family Issues
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Family:
Attributes of marriage and cohabitation
Compare the traits of marriage and cohabitation! To start, put Marriage on one side of the page and cohabitation on the other side. Then see which attributes of marriage and cohabitation match the colors! Good Luck!
Discuss:
How are cohabitation or marriage different ? Why?
Resource 10: Consider the Children
When you consider the reasons whether people should marry rather than cohabitate, have you considered the impact cohabitation has on children?
Parents:
Suffer the Little Children: Cohabitation and the Abuse of America’s Children
Family:
Consider the Children
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Discuss:
Why do you think marriage protects children more than cohabitation?
Review
Role Play #1
Role Play #1
Scenario:
Your friend at school says that living with someone is a great way to prepare for marriage, especially if you get along well with each other. What would you say?
Response:
Talking Point: Did you know cohabitation is more a preparation for divorce than it is marriage? On average, marriage preceded by cohabitation is 46% more likely to end in divorce. The risk is greatest for “serial” cohabitors who have had multple relationships.
Citation:
“Should We Live Together?” National Marriage Project, 2013. http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/ShouldWeLiveTogether.pdf
Role Play #2
Role Play #2
Scenario:
You and your family hear a tv show host say that the cohabitation of adults has no danger to children either physically, emotionally, or mentally. What would you say?
Response:
Talking Point: By virtually every measure, children of cohabiting parents fare worse than children in intact married families. (1) Forty percent of cohabiting households include children. After five years, one-half of these couples will have broken up, compared to 15% of married parents. (2)
Additionally, of women who have always worked, 54 percent say they would prefer to stay at home and take care of family rather than work outside the home. (2)
Citation:
1) Cohabitation II, United Families International, https://www.unitedfamilies.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Cohabitation_Part_II.pdf
2) “Cohabitation and children’s living arrangements: New estimates from the United States,” National Library of Medicine, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2612998/
Reflect
Reflect
Parents:
Review some additional Homefront Project articles/videos from the HomeFront Cohabitation unit.
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Family:
- What did you learn?
- What do you want to do differently?
- What were you surprised by?
- With whom do you want to share what you learned?
Discuss:
Which was your favorite resource or video?
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